WEREPE ITCHING – A Comedy Of Errors

Amara was helping her grandmother harvest werepe from the backyard. Her grandmother had warned her to wear gloves, but Amara was in a hurry. She grabbed the hairy pods with her bare hands and tossed them into a basket.

Within minutes, her hands started to tingle. Then they started to burn. Then they started to itch like a thousand angry ants were marching across her skin.

"Ah! Ah! Ah!" Amara screamed, dropping the pods. "My hands dey burn! E dey itch like say fire dey inside my skin!"

She ran inside, shaking her hands like she was trying to fling off invisible spiders. She called her friend, Dr Nemo, who lived next door.

"Dr Nemo! Help me! Werepe don attack me!"

Dr Nemo rushed over. He looked at her red, inflamed hands. "No worry. I know wetin to do."

He grabbed a bottle of mentholated spirit and poured it over her hands.

Amara screamed. "Wetin you dey do? Na fire you dey add to fire!"

Dr Nemo shrugged. "Na to cool am."

"Cool? E dey burn me more! You dey mad!"

Dr Nemo scratched his head. "Maybe na salt water. My grandmother dey use salt water for itching."

He ran to the kitchen, mixed salt and water, and poured it on her hands.

Amara cried out again. "E sting! Dr Nemo, you dey try to kill me today?"

Dr Nemo was confused. "Na the only things I know."

He decided to use his hands to rub the salt water into her skin. Within seconds, his own hands started to tingle. Then they burned. Then they itched.

"Ah! Wetin happen to my hands?" he shouted, shaking them violently.

"Na werepe! You don catch am!" Amara cried.

Now both of them were standing in the kitchen, crying and scratching their hands like two people possessed. Amara was sobbing. Dr Nemo was whimpering. Their hands were red, swollen, and on fire.

Artic walked in and stopped dead in his tracks.

"Wetin dey happen here? Na y'all dey do itching competition?"

Amara cried, "Artic! Help us! Werepe don finish us!"

Artic sighed. "Una no know how to handle werepe at all."

He went to the bathroom and came back with a roll of tape. He tore off a piece and pressed it firmly onto Amara's hand. He peeled it off. Tiny hairs stuck to the tape.

"See the hairs wey dey cause the itching," Artic said. "When you scratch, you push am deeper. Tape fit pull am out."

He repeated the process on both of Amara's hands, then on Dr Nemo's hands. The itching subsided gradually.

"Wash your hands with soap and cold water," Artic instructed. "No use hot water. E go open your pores and make the hairs go deeper. Apply calamine lotion if you get. And if e still dey itch, take antihistamine."

Amara and Dr Nemo followed his instructions. Within an hour, the itching was bearable. They sat on the sofa, exhausted, their hands wrapped in cold cloths.

"Artic, you save us," Amara said.

Artic smirked. "Next time, wear gloves when you dey handle werepe."

Artic slapped Dr Nemo's head. "No ever pour mentholated spirit on itching again. Na fire you dey add to fire."

Dr Nemo nodded. "I don learn my lesson."

Amara looked at her hands. "Werepe no be joke. Na serious plant."

Artic laughed. "Na you carry am. Now you know."

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